I Am Not Dead

That, of course, was my blog speaking. Back to myself... to all those fans out there who've been waiting with bated breaths for this entry (I do allow myself a few bits of immodesty here and there, don't take it seriously :) so, I was saying that I would like to apologise for the delay and regret the inconvenience caused. (Yes, I've been spending a lot of time at airports lately) OK, I feel pretty disgusted myself that I ignored this blog so long. I had created it with a lot of enthusiasm so it's kind of surprising I only managed 3 entries in nearly two months. But now that I'm back with renewed vigour and fresh enthusiasm, I promise to give you guys new material more frequently...pakka!

In case some of you noticed that this first paragraph was too full of cliches.. don't worry. I haven't lost it or anything, it's just that when you're being genuinely sincere; it's best to keep it simple. So, hopefully I will manage to do what I just promised you five sentences ago.

The reintroduction is over and let me tell you what's been up with me lately. Right now I don't have any fun incidents to narrate so this will random. To begin with, my second semester is already into its second week and everything that's happened (mainly academically) till now makes me wonder with extremely strong emotions - WHY THE HELL WAS I SO HAPPY WHEN SEM 1 FINISHED??? Had I no idea what was going to come next? I thought I had bad teachers then, couldn't I see the labworthy specimens who were waiting for me this side of the winter break? But introspection is no use now and I must prepare myself mentally as well as physically (no, you're not reading The Awakening of Youth) for what lies ahead. And if Semester 2 were to come bundled in a box, it would probably have stuff like this written on it:

***FREE!!! FREE 40% upgrade on the amount of sleep guaranteed during the lectures!!!***

***EXTREME DHAMAKA!!! All professors now prefitted with DRONE GENERATORS in their voiceboxes… TWO WORDS and you’ll SLEEP LIKE A BABY!!! Dream on!!!***

***TRUST US… Each and every one of these instructors has been CAREFULLY SELECTED to ensure that NO MORE than 1% of the words spoken by them will be pronounced correctly!!!***

***MASTI OFFER… If despite our best efforts, you STAY AWAKE during the course of a lecture, you’ll be PLEASED to discover that they know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about their field!!***

GUARANTEE. If for any reason you are dissatisfied with any of the professors and happen to follow an entire hour of ANY lecture, we PROMISE that he/she will be PROMPTLY REPLACED.

So that’s what an IITG Semester2 Package would look like, in my opinion. And I’m not saying this without reason… like I said before, we have some real specimens of teachers to teach us this time. Sample this, “So if I put a chwis here..." Now through what stretch of imagination are we supposed to understand that he meant switch? You must be smiling (if you aren't, get yourself checked into a mental health facility) but this is what we need to face... And then there's the Computer Science professor. I feel sorry for him; actually he suffers from a very serious disorder wherein your eyelids remain permanently in shutdown mode (Believe me, he teaches with his eyes closed). And another associated complication of his affliction is that after every two sentences, he is forced to pause as if he's just told his wife that he has a child from another woman... And we're not supposed to go to sleep? And that 'guarantee' thing... apparently its true. We had this one good Biology instructor who could actually teach and today, his 'replacement' was there...I don't even want to go into descriptions. We've had enough for one entry!

But anyway, the purpose of this entry was mostly fun. It's not like I have any great expectations from the faculty. It's fairly common knowledge that most of the effort has got to be from your side. The teachers need to do one thing- tell us the syllabus. Just leave the rest to us!

OK.. I'm kind of having a mental block right now and can't think of anything else to write. So that's all for now.. Go ahead, comment!